Macho Man
by shiggity-shiggity-shwa
Summary: The guys lose a bet and now they have to perform to Macho Man by the Village People. R


**Macho Man**

Misha:  "Ok everyone, last hand, and what do you all say that the winner gets to make all the others do something?"

Duo:  "I'm game.  Winner decides the losers' consequence."

Rei:  "Sure, why not?"

Quatre:  "I hope that it won't be like last time."

Raziel:  "Last time?"

Yup, Rei and Misha decided to invite the G-boys to a game of poker, just for fun, but they also invited their upstairs neighbour, Raziel.

Quatre:  "We had lost a bet and Rei decided our Halloween costumes."  He said it all with a slight blush.

Raziel:  "Oh!  You mean the time when Wufei went to the hospital?"

Wufei looks away slightly mad.

Wufei:  "Mind dropping it!"

The group tries to not laugh out loud.

Misha:  "Anyways, you guys in or not?"

Raziel:  "Count me in!"

Trowa:  "Very well."

Heero:  "Mission accepted."

Wufei:  "I reluctantly accept."

Misha:  "Great!  The person with the best hand wins!"

They deal the cards and play their games.  After a few turns, they show their cards.

Wufei:  "HA!!!  My full house beats you all!"

Misha:  "Not everyone Wu."  She lays down her cards.  "Royal Flush, I win."

Wufei:  "NO!!!  So close!  I almost got Duo to cut that stupid braid off!"

Duo:  "Hey!"

Misha:  "Well, I guess that I get to choose your consequence."  She started thinking.

Quatre:  "Please, nothing too mean."

Raziel:  "How bad can it be?"

Quatre:  "You weren't the one that went from house to house in fury underwear!"

Raziel:  "You're kidding right?"

Quatre:  "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

Raziel:  "I guess not."

After a few minutes of waiting, Misha finally spoke up.

Misha:  "I got it.  It's nothing too cruel but it's absolutely perfect!"

Wufei:  "Well?  Out with it woman!"

Misha smiled.

Misha:  "All of you guys are gonna sing and dance Macho Man at karaoke night at the bar.

All guys:  "WHAT?!?!"

Duo:  "Macho Man?"

Quatre:  "I suppose that it's better than Halloween."

Raziel:  "Ok, I'm willing to do it but what about Rei?  I mean, there were 6 village people and we are 6 guys, so where does she come in?"

Misha smiled again.

Misha:  "She will be deciding who you are, do your costumes, choreograph the dance, and make sure that you each have your chance in the spot light."

Rei puts her hand to her head.

Rei:  "Oh joy!  This is going to be so amusing."

*****Day 1*****

Rei:  "Ok guys.  Misha has a spot booked at the club in exactly 1 week so that doesn't leave us much time.  I've convinced her to not see what you guys are going to do until it's presented.  Now, I'm going to make this fair… or sort of.  I put each of the village people in this hat.  You will each choose one and open your hands all at the same time to look at who you got."

Rei stick the hat out and they each choose a piece of paper.

"Rei:  "Ok, look who you got."

Quatre:  "Ummm, the motorcyclist."

Raziel:  "Looks like I'm navy boy."

Duo:  I'm the construction worker.  At least I'm not the Indian."

Wufei:  Shut up Maxwell!"

Duo:  "HAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Wufei promptly smacks Duo behind the head.

Quatre:  "How about you Trowa?  Heero?"

Heero:  "I'm the police officer."

Trowa:  "The cowboy."

Rei:  "Good!  Now I can get all your costumes.  Next thing we're going to do is learn the song."

She hands them each a sheet of paper with the lyrics on them.  She then pops out a radio.

Rei:  "Ok, now you're gonna learn the song while singing it."

She puts the cd in the machine and the music starts.

_Body… wanna feel my body_

_Body… such a thrill my body_

_Body… wanna touch my bod…_

Music stops.

Rei:  "Ummm, guys… what are you waiting for?  You're supposed to be singing people!  Lets start over."

She starts the music again and the day continues on.

*****Day 2*****

Duo:  "Macho, Macho Man!!!  I want to be a Macho Man!!!"

Wufei:  "Shut up Maxwell!"

Rei:  "At least he learned the lyrics.  How about the rest of you?"

Quatre:  "Trowa and I learnt the lyrics last night so we should be good."

Rei:  "Great!  And last night, I started looking for your costumes and looky what I found!"

She pulls out a bag and empties its contents on a nearby chair.

Rei:  "Razi, this is for you."

She hands his a white sailor suit.

Rei:  "Got put it on and hurry back.  Now this one is for Trowa.  I just need to get a hat and it'll be perfect."

She hands him his costume.

Rei:  "And I've started gathering bits and pieces or your costume Quatre but I'm gonna have to get a few measurements since you'll be wearing leather."

Quatre:  "I have to wear leather?"

Rei:  "Yup.  The tight kind."

Quatre was slowly becoming redder.  After a few more descriptions of the other costumes, Raziel and Trowa walked out.

Raziel:  "So… how do I look?"

Rei:  "Perfect!  Simply perfect!"

Raziel was wearing tight white pants with bell-bottoms.  His shirt was also white with large sleeves and a V-neck but also with that little add on around the neck (think Sailor Moon, those coloured thing that look like sailor thingy's but with the bow and colour), and to top it off, the little navy cap.

Duo:  "Now that you look like a sailor, can you swear like one?"

Raziel:  "Well…"

Rei clamps her hand over his mouth.

Rei:  "No need to start talking like one.  Just wear the costume and that's it."

Raziel:  "Aie! Aie! Captain!"  Behind her hand.

As for Trowa, he was wearing black pants with a bit of flare to them.  We also wore black cowboy boots which were hidden underneath the pant leg.  As for the shirt, it was just a black dress up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows.  It also had two little white decors on them to add a western flair to the costume.  And to top it off, a big belt buckle.  There would be a black hat that would complete the costume later.  (think one of the dancers from Madonna's Don't tell me, dressed in black)

Rei:  Wow, Trowa, you look good!"

Quatre:  "Yeah, you really look good!"

Rei and the other guys looked at Quatre a little strangely.

Trowa:  "…"

Rei:  "Ok… anyways, as for the rest of you, the costumes are still at work.  And that reminds me, I have to go buy a gun for Heero."

Heero:  "I already have one."

Rei:  "I mean a fake plastic gun."

Raziel:  "What do you mean you already have one?  You have a gun?"

Heero growled a little and walked away.

Raziel:  "He doesn't really have a gun, does he?"

Duo:  "If you know what's good for you, you won't try to get it or something not too pretty might happen, if you know what I mean."

Raziel:  "If you say so."

Rei:  "Look, we don't have time to care about Heero's gun so someone go get him back in here so that we can get the singing part of this whole charade over with.

Talk about a long day and there are still 4 days of work before day 7:  Show time.

*****Day 3*****

Rei:  "Ok boys.  We're slowly getting there and I am hoping that today will go by without any problem.  First of all, I have 2 more costumes for you boys.  Duo, Wufei, come and get it.  Oh and I also have your hat Trowa."

She gave Trowa the black cowboy hat which completed his costume.  She also gave Duo and Wufei their bundles of clothe and the others are now waiting for them to come out.

Duo:  "Oh yeah, I am one hell of a SEXY macho man!"

He comes out of the room and starts showing off his costume.  He wore old, washed out jeans that had a few holes in them.  He also got those hard toe boots.  His shirt is slightly paler than his pants and he has short, rolled up sleeves.  His shirt is wide open but tucked into the pants.  To finish off the costume, he's wearing a tool belt around his waist and has a white construction hat.

Rei:  "Am I good or what?  Now, where is Wufei.  It shouldn't take that long to get into his costume."

She walks over to the other room and knocks on the door.

Rei:  "Hey Wufei, you ok in there?"

Wufei:  "Ok?  OK???  I practically naked and you expect me to be ok???  I refuse to go and humiliate myself in front of some people!"

Rei walks into the room and quickly closes the door behind her.

Wufei:  "AHHHH!!!!  What do you think you're doing in here?!?!?!  Get out of here!!!"

Rei:  "Oh come on, the costume isn't that bad.  And with a little makeup, it'll look great!"

Wufei:  "What!?!?!  No, first, you expect me to humiliate myself by dancing and singing in this thing you call a costume, and now you tell me that you're going to put some makeup on me?  You are not coming close to my person if you know what is good for you onna!"

Rei:  "Oh, and is that so.  Well then, I suppose that I could finally tell the other guys what really happened at Halloween and with Duo… and the pink bunnies?"

Wufei:  "You wouldn't."

Rei:  "Try me."

Wufei looked at Rei with a glare that could melt steel but she didn't even flinch.

Rei:  "So, what is it going to be?"

They continue glaring at each other.

Wufei:  sighs "Fine, you win."

Rei:  "Great!  Now come on, the others want to see your costume."

She grabs him by the hand and pulls him out of the room.

Wufei:  "Hey!  Wait!"

Wufei finally comes out and all the others finally see him for the first time.

Silence

Then as if on cue, all the guys start laughing out loud and rolling on the floor.  Wufei just stood there, shaking with frustration and humility.  He was wearing nothing but a big feathered skirt that went to the middle of his thighs but of course, Rei had also given him some spandex shorts to put underneath.  On his feet were these big boots covered in fur and a few feathers.  He had nothing covering his chest other than a necklace made of strange looking stones and there were a few bracelets on his arms, also covered in feathers.  Finally, on his head was this sort of ring, again covered by feathers.  (this about those things that chief Indians where on their heads)  With a growl, he stomped back to the other room and slammed the door.

Duo:  "(laugh)  Oh my god!  (laugh)  That was so hilarious!  (laugh)  And to think that he's going to be dancing and singing in that costume!!!  HAHAHAHA!!!"

Raziel:  "I know what you mean"  Picking himself off the floor  "Rei, are you sure that's all his costume?"

Rei:  "Well, other then a bit of makeup, that's the whole thing."

Duo:  "Hahahaha, that's even better!"

Quatre:  "Now Duo, it's not nice to laugh at Wufei."  Maybe he should take his own advice.  He could barely contain his giggles.

Rei:  "Well, he's not the only one. I mean, all of you guys are going to have to put some makeup on."

Once that was said, all the guys stopped laughing and all stared at her.  Wufei then popped his head out the door.

Wufei:  "HA!"

Wufei might not had been happy with the others reaction but he had heard every word afterwards.

Duo:  "You're kidding, right?"

Rei:  "Of course not.  How do you expect people in the back to see your faces?  Anyways, Wufei, get back out here.  I finally finished writing the choreograph and now its time for you guys to learn it."

They may be gundam pilots, well except for Raziel, and they may be some of the best fighters but god, they all have two left feet!!!

*****Day 4*****

Rei:  "Ok you guys.  I have a headache from yesterday and unfortunately, today isn't any easier but let's just try to get through quickly, ok?"

Quatre:  "Well, I'm having fun but I can't speak for everyone."

Rei:  "Heero, I got your costume so go get changed."

Heero:  "Hnn"

Rei:  "Hold up.  Give me your gun."

Heero:  "No!"

Rei:  "I said, give me your gun!"

Heero:  "NO!"

Rei:  "Fine then.  You're indian boy."

Heero gives Rei his gun then goes and gets changed.

Rei:  "Well, that was easy enough."

After waiting a bit, Heero comes out, dressed as a police officer.  He wore tight white pants (which isn't too different for Heero) with boots that went all the way to his knees.  He wore a sky blue shirt and over that was a black coat.  We also had a loose mini scarf around his neck.  Around his waist was a gun holster with a fake gun in it and on the other side was a pair of hand cuffs.  Finally, he had a black and white helmet.  All in all, he looked rather realistic.

Heero:  "Can I have my gun back now?"

Rei:  "I don't think so Heero."

Heero:  "Hnn"

Rei:  "Anyways, as for you Quatre, I should have it ready by tomorrow.  I've been having trouble finding a big chain to put over your chest."

Quatre:  "Chains?"

Rei:  "Yup, and you're even going to have this stick on a big, thick moustache."

Quatre:  "Oh… great…"

Rei:  "Ok boys, lets get dancing."

*****Day 5*****

Rei:  "Oh Quatre."

Quatre:  "Let me guess, you have my costume."

Rei:  "How did you guess?"  She gives him a pile a clothes "Now go get changed."

Quatre looks at the clothes, then to the others who just look away.  Head down, he walks over to another room.

Rei:  "Why does it look like he's about to cry?"

Duo:  "I don't know.  Bad memories?"

Rei:  "You wouldn't happen to know what's wrong with him, would you Trowa?"

Trowa:  "…"

Rei:  "You really should speak more."

Quatre:  "Umm Rei."

Rei turns to see Quatre's head sticking out from the other room.

Rei:  "Yeah, what is it?"

Quatre:  "It doesn't fit."

Rei:  "What?  That doesn't make any sense!"

She walks over into the room and closes the door behind her.

Rei:  "What doesn't fit?"

Quatre:  "The pants.  I tried putting them on but they didn't want to come to."

Rei:  "Well, take your pants on and well force them on."

Quatre immediately blushed at the idea.  He was shy enough around others as it is, and now a girl was going to see him in his underwear (boxers or briefs???  ^.^) and try to get a pair of pants on.  How embarrassing!

Rei:  "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Quatre:  "Sorry."

He shyly took his pants off and proceeded to put the leather pants on.  As he said before, they didn't fit.

Rei:  "I'm positive I got the right size."

Quatre:  "Guess I'll just have to wear something else."

Rei:  "I don't think so Quatre.  You will be wearing those pants even if I have to go get the oil can."

Rei went up to him and took each side of his pants.  She started tugging them upwards when she realized that Quatre didn't seem to be helping.  When she had looked back up into his face, it wasn't its usual shy red; he seemed to be in a little pain.

Rei:  "Ummm, are you ok Quatre?"

Quatre:  "Oh, yeah, I'm perfect."

Rei:  "Then why did your voice sound a little…I don't know, higher than usual…"

She looked down and immediately back to his face.

Rei:  "Um, it might help if you pushed **it in, because I won't!"**

Quatre:  "Hehehe…"

After pushing **it in, Rei helped him into the rest of his costume.  It was the hardest (tightest) one to put on.  Once on, both left the room and all the guys just starred at him wide eyed.  What did she do to their little Quatre???**

Trowa:  "Wow."

Everyone was absolutely shocked.  Trowa had actually said something and nobody was even asking him a question.  Getting over his shock, Duo whispered something in Heero's ear.

Duo:  "Sorta reminds me of a masochist."

Heero:  "Hn"

Rei:  "Hey!  I heard that Duo!  And he does not!  He looks like the original biker from the Village People… well other than the facial hair."

Quatre certainly did look sexy.  He wore these very tight leather pants which are of course, paired up with a big chain going from his back to his front pocket.  He had they big army boots that were put on over his pants.  All that he had on his torso was a set of chains that all connected at a big center ring.  One chain went from the center ring, around his neck, and back again; another went around his back, and the last one connected the chain from the center ring to his pants.  Rei wasn't about to leave little Quatre bare chest, no, that was for Wufei, so he gave him a big biker jacket.  And for a hat, it was more like a black cap with a chain around it.  To finish off the costume, she stuck this huge black moustache that went down all the way to his chin.  Little Quatre certainly became someone wild and sexy!

Quatre:  "So I take it that you all like it?"

Rei:  "Yeah!  You look absolutely perfect!  Now that that's settled with, it's time to finish the dance.  And tomorrow, everyone bring your costumes, we're going to do a fully dressed practice since show is after tomorrow.  Now let's do it."

*****Day 6*****

Rei:  "No, no, no, no!  How many times do I have to repeat it to you Wufei?  Left leg, THEN right leg with arm.  How many times do I have to repeat myself???"

Wufei:  "Well maybe you should just do it yourself!"

Rei:  "I should but I don't want to take away the fun of you dancing in that little outfit."

Wufei:  "Grrr!  Weak onna!"

Rei:  "Whatever.  Once again from the top!"

*****Day 7*****

Misha is sitting at a table near the stage equipped with a video camera.  Rei then appeared with her own camera in hand and sat down at the table.

Rei:  "I hope you're ready for a show because I don't think I ever worked so hard on something like that."

Misha:  "It better be good!  I don't want to that I wasted a bet for nothing."

Rei:  "I don't think that you'll be too disappointed."

Just then, the last guy shuffled off stage and the manager went on.

Manager:  "Thank you and that was Tommy singing "War".  And now for a slightly different presentation.  A friend told me that the next group lost a bet and now Duo, Heero, Quatre, Raziel, Trowa, and Wufei are going to sing and dance Macho Man!  Give them a hand!"

Manager walks off

Curtain opens and we see Quatre facing Duo, Heero facing Raziel, and Trowa facing Wufei.

Music starts.

Boys start shaking their hips to the beat.  Everybody sings while Wufei repeats.

_Body… wanna feel my body_

(They all feel themselves.)

_Body… such a thrill my body_

(They all go down, swinging their hips and back up.)

_Body… wanna touch my body_

(They all drag their hands down the chest of the guys they're facing.)

_Body… it's too much my body_

(They all move their arms over their heads, and at the same time with their hips, kick them back and forth.)

_Body… check it out my body_

(They all turn to face the crowd in two steps.)

_Body… don't you doubt my body_

(They all move down, hands sliding on their sides and back up.)

_Body… takin' bout my body_

(They do three diagonal hand movements and on the 4th beat, their hands are on their butts.)

_Body… check it out my body_

(They rotate their hips with their hands still on their butts.)

Once the action completed, Duo slides forwards and starts singing and dancing on his own.  The others continue dancing in the background.

Duo:

_Every man wants to be a macho macho man_

_To have the kind of body, always in demand_

(The others march in place)

_Jogging in the mornings, go man go_

_Works out in the health spa, muscles glow_

(They spin right and clap hands, spin left and clap hands.  Repeat movement once.)

_You can best believe that he's a macho man_

_Ready to get down with, anyone he can_

(They all march and start changing places, creating a triangle with two people at the peak.)

Everyone sings

_Hey!  Hey!  Hey, hey, hey!_

(They all bang forward with their hips at each hey.)

_Macho, macho man (macho man (Repeated by Trowa each time)__)_

_I've got to be a macho man_

(They all punch diagonally into the air while thrusting out their opposite leg in the same direction.)

_Macho, macho man_

_I've got to be a macho!_

(Both arms are now being punched into the air at the same time making a V and an X after each beat.)

_Macho, macho man_

_I've got to be a macho man_

(Start punching into the air diagonally again but in the opposite direction.)

_Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)_

(Punching in V and X formation)

_I've got to be a macho!_

(End flexing their muscles)

Everyone sings and it's repeated by Heero

_Body, body, body wanna feel my body_

(They all start marching again and rub their hands on their chest)

_Body, body, body gonna thrill my body_

(Continue marching and bang their arms in the air)

_Body, body, body don'tcha stop my body_

(Still marching, do 3 diagonal arm moves and finish with hand one their butts)

_Body, body, body it's so hot my body_

(Stop marching and rotate their hips)

Everyone dances into a new formation while Raziel dances his way forward and sings.

_Every man ought to be a macho macho man_

(They all run their hand down their chests)

_To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand_

(They slide their hands along their sides)

_Have their own life style and ideals_

(Pretend to feel a chest, that isn't there, in front of them)

_Posses the strength and confidence, life's a steal_

(Lift their arms up and bang them)

_You can best believe that he's a macho man_

(Do 3 diagonal arm moves then hands finish on their butts)

_He's a special person in anybody's land_

(Rotate hips with hands on butts)

Everyone singing

_Hey!  Hey!  Hey, hey, hey!_

(They all bang forward with their hips at each hey)

_Macho, macho man (macho man (by Trowa)__)_

_I've got to be, a macho man_

(They all punch diagonally into the air while thrusting out their opposite leg in the same direction.)

_Macho, macho man_

_I've got to be a macho! (dig the hair on my chest (sung by Quatre)__)_

(Both arms are now being punched into the air at the same time making a V and an X after each beat.)

_Macho, macho man (see my big thick moustache (by Quatre)__)_

_I've got to be a macho man_

_Macho, macho man_

_I've got to be a macho! (dig broad shoulders (by Quatre)__)_

(They all dance by themselves)

_Macho, macho man (dig my muscles! (again by Quatre)__)_

_I've got to be, a macho man_

_Macho, macho man_

(They are still dancing by themselves)__

_I've got to be a macho!_

(Finish by flexing their muscles)

Everyone starts clapping their hands and all the girls start yelling and whistling.  The bows all line up and take a bow then leave the stage.  Rei and Misha go after them.

Misha:  "Guys that was great!  I sure am glad that that was the bet!"

Rei:  "Yeah!  You guys looked hot!"

Duo:  "I know."

Misha:  "Anyways, I filmed it and I'm pretty sure that Rei got some great pictures.  So go get changed and let's go check out the tape!"

The boys all got changed and made their way to the girls' apartment.

Quatre:  "I still cannot believe that so many girls were there."

Misha:  "Why do you think I chose this day anyways?"

Rei:  "Maybe because it's ladies night."

Misha:  "Bingo!"

Raziel:  "Well, I thought it was pretty fun but next time we make a bet, count me out!"

Quatre:  "Now you know what I meant."

They all sat down around the television, and Misha put the tape in and pushed play.

At first, we only see the manager taking but then the music starts and we see the guys dancing.

Quatre:  "Oh my good!  I cannot believe that we did that in front of everyone!"

Misha:  "I thought that it was absolutely perfect!  I love every moment!"

Duo:  "Hey look!!!  Aren't I great?"

Right in the middle of Duo's singing, we hear some whispering and the camera moves away from Duo and towards Quatre.

Duo:  "Hey!  Why'd ya leave?"

The tape then zooms in on him and lowers until we see he pants.  Quatres' face immediately turned as red as a tomato.

Quatre:  "HEY!!!  I can't believe you zoomed on me like that!"

Misha:  "What?  There's nothing wrong about being well equipped!"

Raziel:  "Mind changing subject people?"

They continue watching the tape and nearing the end, we hear some more whispering.  There is then another zoom but this time it's towards Wufei.

Rei:  "Um, Wufei, weren't you supposed to have some spandex shorts on?"

(h yeah!  On the tape, we could see that he wore only a pair of tight red underwear under the feathers.

Wufei:  "Grrrr!!!  Somebody stole them!"

Misha:  "Well, whoever stole them, I thank you!"

Wufei:  "WHAT!?!?!  Because of him, I had to embarrass myself in front of everyone."

Misha:  "And I'm pretty sure that nobody complained.  Besides, you look a lot better without them."

Wufei:  "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

Misha:  "Oh nothing."

Wufei:  "Weak onna!"

Everyone laughed at their little quarrel but it's pretty obvious who stole Wufei's shorts.  Of course, it was Duo but was it ever worth it.

*****The next day*****

Rei:  "Hey Misha!  I just got my pictures developed!"

Misha:  "Oh!  Quick, I wanna see!"

She opened up the pack and took the pictures out.

Misha:  "Wow, these are really great."

Rei:  "Thanks!"

Misha then looks at one of the pictures and stares back at Rei.

Misha:  "I want one!"

Rei:  "No prob!  I had this one done in double just for you.  One thing's for sure, this one is going in my personal collection."

What's on the picture?  Three guesses and the first two don't count.  If was the big bulge in front of Quatre's pants!

**The End **


End file.
